5分鐘英文幽默笑話(huà)
笑話(huà)的界定因人而異，有的人認為是笑話(huà)的東西，有的'人不認為是笑話(huà)。以下是5分鐘英文幽默笑話(huà)歡迎閱覽!
真正的男人
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely.
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
“It's good to see，”said the king，“that we have one real man in the kingdom.Tell these chickenhearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.”
“Your Majesty，”came the reply in a squealing voice，“it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.”
一位古王國的統治者，想要證明在他領(lǐng)地中的男人們都是被他們老婆所統治這一說(shuō)法是錯誤的，他就把王國中的所有男人都招到面前，并警告說(shuō)，誰(shuí)要不說(shuō)實(shí)話(huà)就會(huì )被嚴懲。
然后，他叫那些聽(tīng)老婆指揮聽(tīng)老婆勸的男人全都邁向大堂左邊。所有男人都這么做了，只有一個(gè)小個(gè)兒男人挪到了右邊。
“看來(lái)還不錯嘛，”國王說(shuō)，“咱們王國還有一個(gè)真正的男人。告訴這幫膽小的蠢材，在這些人當中，為什么只有你一人站在大堂右邊�！�
“陛下，”一個(gè)尖嗓子的回答聲傳過(guò)來(lái)，“那是因為我出門(mén)之前，老婆交代我別往人堆里扎�！�
父親在哪兒?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫(huà)。
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
“看，”哥哥說(shuō)，“這些畫(huà)多漂亮呀!”
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
“是啊，”弟弟說(shuō)道，“可是在所有這些畫(huà)中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
哥哥想了會(huì )兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時(shí)正在畫(huà)這些畫(huà)唄�！�
現在怎么辦?
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator:
"My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"
兩個(gè)新澤西獵人在林子里，有一個(gè)突然摔倒在地，看起來(lái)沒(méi)了呼吸，翻白眼了。另一個(gè)掏出手機呼叫急救中心。他上氣不接下氣地對接線(xiàn)員說(shuō)：
“我朋友死了!我該怎么辦?”
接線(xiàn)員用鎮定安慰的語(yǔ)氣說(shuō)：“別慌，我有辦法。首先，咱確定一下他真死了�！�
安靜了片刻，接著(zhù)聽(tīng)見(jiàn)一聲槍響。電話(huà)里又傳來(lái)那男人的聲音，他說(shuō)：“確定了，現在怎么辦?”
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