關(guān)于小學(xué)英語(yǔ)的小笑話(huà)
笑話(huà)能反映社會(huì )現象、群體認同或諷刺特定行為（如職業(yè)笑話(huà)）。同時(shí)，心理學(xué)研究表明，健康的幽默有助于人際調和，而負面笑話(huà)可能暴露性格缺陷（如嫉妒或狹隘）。下面是小學(xué)英語(yǔ)的小笑話(huà)，供參考！
小學(xué)英語(yǔ)的小笑話(huà) 1
Baby bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table .
熊寶寶走到樓下坐在他的小餐桌椅上。
He looks into his small bowl.It is empty!
他窺探著(zhù)他的小碗。碗是空的。
"Whos been eating my porrodge?"he squeaks .
他吱吱叫說(shuō)：“誰(shuí)吃了我的麥片粥?”
Daddy bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chiar.
熊爸爸來(lái)到桌邊坐在他的太椅子上。
He looks into his big bowl .It is also empty!
他窺探著(zhù)他的.大碗.碗也是空的。
"Who is been eating my porridge?"he roars .
他太聲吼叫說(shuō)：“誰(shuí)吃了我的麥片粥?”
Mummy bear puts her head though the serving hatch from the kitchen and scream .
熊媽媽把她的頭從廚房的端菜口伸出來(lái)尖聲叫著(zhù)：
"For Gods sake,how many time do we have to go though this? I havent made the porridge yet!"
“看在老天的份上，我們還得忍受這樣子多少次呢?我還沒(méi)做麥片粥啦!”
A man walks into a confession booth and says,"I have sinned."
有一個(gè)男人走進(jìn)告解室說(shuō)：“我犯罪了”。
"What did you do?"asks the priest.
神父 問(wèn) ：“你做了什么?”
"I committed a murder."
“我犯了謀殺罪”
The priest says,"take a drink out of the holy cup and you will be forgiven."
神父說(shuō)：“你喝一口圣杯的圣水，你就得饒恕�！�
A man walks into the confession booth and says ,"I have sinned."
有一個(gè)男人走進(jìn)告解室說(shuō)：“我犯罪了”。
The priest asks him ,"what did you do?"
神父問(wèn)他： “你做了什么?”
"I robbed six banks."
“我搶了六家銀行”
The priest says, "take a drink out of the holy cup and you will be forgiven."
神父說(shuō)：“你喝一口圣杯的圣水，你就得饒恕�！�
Another man walks into the confession booth and says ," I have sinned ."
另一個(gè)男人走進(jìn)告解室說(shuō)：“我犯罪了”。
" What did you do?" asks the priest,
神父問(wèn)：“你做了什么?”
"I broke the holy cup."
“我把圣杯打破了”。
A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy apaper. His friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - The dogtrotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
"How much did you give him?" asked the owner.
"Five dollars.
"Well, that explains it. When you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie."
一位養狗人宣稱(chēng)：要是給了愛(ài)犬錢(qián)，它便會(huì )到賣(mài)報亭買(mǎi)份報紙來(lái)。他的朋友堅持要來(lái)個(gè)演示，并給了狗一些錢(qián)。狗一溜小跑著(zhù)去了。但一個(gè)小時(shí)過(guò)去了，仍不見(jiàn)它帶報紙回來(lái)。
“你給了它多少錢(qián)?”狗的主人問(wèn)。
“五元�！�
“這就是了。你給它五元錢(qián)時(shí)，它就去看電影�！�
小學(xué)英語(yǔ)的小笑話(huà) 2
Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中間戰術(shù)
三個(gè)互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業(yè)街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀(guān)者等著(zhù)瞧好戲。
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書(shū)：“大減價(jià)!”“特便宜!”
左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱(chēng)：“大砍價(jià)!”“大折扣!”
中間的商人隨后準備了一個(gè)大招牌，上面只簡(jiǎn)單地寫(xiě)著(zhù)：“入口處”。
Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
在第二次世界大戰中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營(yíng)中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個(gè)大軍營(yíng)中工作，當然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞會(huì )上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對她說(shuō)，“我明天就要出國，但如果我們能夠相互寫(xiě)信，我會(huì )很高興�！杯偼饬�，于是他們幾個(gè)月里一直通著(zhù)信。
后來(lái)，他再沒(méi)有來(lái)信。她收到了另一個(gè)軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個(gè)部隊醫院里。
瓊到了醫院，她對護士長(cháng)說(shuō)，“我來(lái)看望軍官漢弗雷斯�！�
“這里只有親屬可以探望病人�！弊o士長(cháng)說(shuō)。
“噢，是的，”瓊說(shuō)，“我是他的妹妹�！�
“很高興認識你，”護士長(cháng)說(shuō)，“我是他的母親�！�
Two Soldiers
Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"
Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
軍營(yíng)里有二名士兵，一個(gè)叫喬治，一個(gè)叫比爾。喬治問(wèn)：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎?”
比爾說(shuō)：“有�！比缓蟀研偶埡托欧饨o了喬治。
喬治又說(shuō)：“我還沒(méi)有筆呢�！北葼栍职炎约旱墓P給了他。喬治開(kāi)始寫(xiě)信。寫(xiě)完后把信放進(jìn)信封里，又問(wèn)：“比爾，你有郵票嗎?”比爾給了他一張。
這時(shí)比爾站起來(lái)，向門(mén)口走去。喬治問(wèn)：“你要出去嗎?”
比爾說(shuō)：“是的�！彪S即打開(kāi)了門(mén)。
喬治說(shuō)：“請幫我把這封信投進(jìn)辦公室的'信箱里，還有...”他停住了。
“你還要什么?”比爾問(wèn)。
喬治看著(zhù)信封說(shuō)：“你女朋友的地址是-?”
Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
大五個(gè)月
第二次世界大戰開(kāi)始了，約翰想參軍，可他只有十六歲，當時(shí)規定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫給他進(jìn)行體檢時(shí)，他說(shuō)他已經(jīng)十八歲了。
可約翰的哥哥剛入伍沒(méi)幾天，而且也是這個(gè)軍醫給他做的檢查。這位醫生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當他看到約翰的表格時(shí)，感到非常驚奇。
“你多大了?”軍醫問(wèn)。
“十八，長(cháng)官�！奔s翰說(shuō)。
“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎?”
約翰臉紅了，說(shuō)：“哦，不是，長(cháng)官，我哥哥比我大五個(gè)月�！�
West Point
My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."
One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."
父親、哥哥和我到西點(diǎn)軍校去觀(guān)看一場(chǎng)陸軍與波士頓大學(xué)之間的橄欖球賽。開(kāi)始之前，我們到處轉了轉，碰到許多穿著(zhù)整齊制服的學(xué)員。幾名游客問(wèn)新兵是否愿意擺出軍姿來(lái)讓他們攝�！昂米屛覀兊膬鹤又�，如果他到西點(diǎn)軍校來(lái)學(xué)習會(huì )得到什么�！�
一對中年夫婦走近一名非常漂亮的女學(xué)員，問(wèn)她是否愿意擺個(gè)姿勢照相。他們解釋說(shuō)：“我們想讓兒子知道他沒(méi)來(lái)西點(diǎn)軍校錯過(guò)了什么�！�
Present for Girlfriend
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.
The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."
送給女友的禮物
在一家珠寶店里，一位年輕人買(mǎi)了一個(gè)貴重的小金盒作為送給女友的禮物�！耙野阉拿挚淘谏厦鎲�?”珠寶商問(wèn)道。
那名顧客想了一會(huì )兒，然后說(shuō)道：“不--在上面刻‘給我唯一的愛(ài)’。這樣，如果我們鬧崩了，我還可以再用到它�！�
小學(xué)英語(yǔ)的小笑話(huà) 3
Can his football come out to play
George knocked on the door of his friends house. When his friends mother answered he asked, "Can Albert come out to play?"
"No," said the mother, "Its too cold."
"Well, then," said George, "Can his football come out to play?"
小學(xué)英語(yǔ)的小笑話(huà) 4
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.孩子們在天主教學(xué)校的'自助食堂中排隊打午飯。
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
在桌子的前端有一大堆蘋(píng)果。修女寫(xiě)了一張字條，把它貼在了蘋(píng)果盤(pán)上：“只能拿一個(gè)，上帝在看著(zhù)�！�
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
繼續排著(zhù)隊向前走，在桌子的盡頭有一大堆巧克力脆餅。
A child had written a note, "Take all you want.God is watching the apples."
一個(gè)孩子寫(xiě)了張字條：“隨便拿，上帝在看著(zhù)蘋(píng)果�！�
小學(xué)英語(yǔ)的小笑話(huà) 5
不必再看眼科醫生了
It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged , the more I procrastinated. Finally，she made an appointment for me.
我己經(jīng)很多年沒(méi)做眼睛檢查了。我妻子總是催我去掛個(gè)號。她越是督我，我越是耽擱不去。最后，她替我掛了個(gè)號。
The day before I was to see the doctor，I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked. good to me.,
在我去見(jiàn)醫生的前一天，我的'情緒特別好。我對妻于又是親又是抱，還說(shuō)她是我眼里最漂亮的女人.
"That does it,”she said.“Im canceling your appointment."
她說(shuō):“這回眼睛沒(méi)問(wèn)題了，那我現在就去把號退了�！�
小學(xué)英語(yǔ)的小笑話(huà) 6
1．we two who and who？
咱倆誰(shuí)跟誰(shuí)阿
2．how are you ? how old are you?
怎么是你，怎么老是你？
3．you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers ！ together up ！
你有種，我要給你點(diǎn)顏色瞧瞧，兄弟們，一起上！
4．a(chǎn)s far as you go to die
有多遠，死多遠！
5．hello everybody!if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!!
有事起奏，無(wú)事退朝
6．you me you me
彼此彼此
7．You Give Me Stop!!
你給我站��！
8．know is know noknow is noknow
知之為知之，不知為不知…
9．WATCH SISTER
表妹
10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse’’son can make hole!!
龍生龍，鳳生鳳，老鼠的兒子會(huì )打洞！
11.I give you face you don’t wanna face,you lose you face ,I turn myface
給你臉你不要臉，你丟臉，我翻臉
12．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die
車(chē)禍現場(chǎng)描述
13．heart flower angry open
心花怒放
14．go past no mistake past
走過(guò)路過(guò)，不要錯過(guò)
15．小明：I am sorry!
老外：I am sorry too!
小明：I am sorry three!
老外：What are you sorry for?
小明：I am sorry five!
16．If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one!
要錢(qián)沒(méi)有，要命一條
17．I call Li old big. toyear 25.
我叫李老大，今年25。
18．you have two down son
你有兩下子。
19. good good study,day day up!
好好學(xué)習，天天向上
小學(xué)英語(yǔ)的小笑話(huà) 7
史密斯是一家建設公司的經(jīng)理，他正負責一個(gè)新工程的招標案。第一位投標的是一家波蘭公司，他們的.代表出價(jià)四十萬(wàn)元接那個(gè)案子�！八坪鹾芎侠�，”史密斯說(shuō)�！澳憧刹豢梢越o我一張明細表呢?”
"Sure," said the Pole, " $200, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. "
“當然沒(méi)問(wèn)題，”波蘭公司代表說(shuō)道，“二十萬(wàn)元工資，二十萬(wàn)元材科費�！�
下一個(gè)出標的是美國標準建設公司，他們以八十萬(wàn)元競標。
"Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "Whats the breakdown?" “嗯，這個(gè)價(jià)錢(qián)似乎有些偏高，”史密斯說(shuō)道。"你們有明細表嗎?" " $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. " “四十萬(wàn)元材料，四十萬(wàn)元工資�！�
"Ill get back to you. "
Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smiths office. " $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent." 最后可翰高斯坦雷伯威茲公司的代表走進(jìn)史密斯辦公室�！耙话俣f(wàn)元是我們競標的價(jià)碼，”代表說(shuō)道。
$11 200, 0001 That s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown onthat?" “一百二十萬(wàn)元這個(gè)標高得太過(guò)分了，”史密斯叫道“你可以給我一張明細表嗎?" "No problem," replied the rep. " $400, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and
$ 400，000 for thePolacks.
“沒(méi)有問(wèn)題，”代表回答道�！八氖f(wàn)元給我，四十萬(wàn)元給你，最后四十萬(wàn)元則給那家波蘭佬開(kāi)的公司�！�
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