英文自薦信中不能出現的一些話(huà)

下面這些內容不能出現在你的英文簡(jiǎn)歷里致命的大錯 "Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10.""Qualifications: No education or experience." "I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy." "My compensation should be at least equal to my age.""Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC." "Fired because I fought for lower pay.""Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6'5" ." "Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date." "Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near." "Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately." 打字錯誤與語(yǔ)法錯誤"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook." "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.""I am a rabid typist.""Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981.""After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work.""Accounting cleric." "As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments." "Suspected to graduate early next year.""Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.""Proven ability to track down and correct erors." "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details." "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."不應有的幽默 "Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house.""Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.) "But wait...there's more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.""I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." "My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job'-and I like your company in particular.""Title: Another resume from the 'Profiles in Excellence' series.""Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it." "Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks.""Let's meet so you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' over my experience."

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