名師幫你修改考研英語(yǔ)作文
第一篇：習作者（fujisiusuke）
we can find three points from the picture:
the （The first）one is that（there are） 1.1billion people smoke all over the world, which accounts for 20% of the total population (the whole number of our world is 5.8 billion). and the(The) second (point) is about the aftermath led by smoking: （there are）200 billion -dollars economic expense and 3 million lives losing per year. then(Thirdly), the last point,( is that ) (去掉)the output of tobaco（tobacco） around the word decreased from 14.364 billion pounds in 1994 to 14.2 billion pounds in 1995.
in(In) my opinion, the decreasing trend in tobaco's(tobacco) production will be lasting in future(will last for long此處用將來(lái)正在進(jìn)行時(shí)不合適，將來(lái)進(jìn)行時(shí)的特點(diǎn)：表示在將來(lái)某一時(shí)間正在進(jìn)行的動(dòng)作。).and (The) reasons are listed as following(as follows):
firstly(Firstly), as the development of medicine and other sciences related, the study on relationship between tobacco(tobacco) and many serious diseases has become deeper and deeper, which showed (show前后時(shí)態(tài)要一致)to (去to // show sb sth = show sth to sb)the undoubted pertinence. (Secondly)secondly, health plays an（a） more and more imprtant (important) role in our life, and the health conscious (health-conscious 作為形容詞用意思為：注意健康的關(guān)注健康的' health awareness 健康意識)has been improved in recent years. more and more people want to gain healty body by getting rid of smoking.(More and more people are trying to get rid of smoking in order to keep healthy)
then (then 去掉) Last but not the least, the improvement of level of material life (life quality) supplies(enables) us with various way(access) to have fun or (as well as) reduce(reduces) the sress （stress）caused by work, life and study. smoking has not been the only choice. (Smoking is far from the only choice)
in （In）a word, what we pursue is (a) better life, so let us do our best to reduce the harmful behavior.
Sara點(diǎn)評：注意英語(yǔ)單詞用法和選擇，避免中式英語(yǔ)，使句子更地道。注意標點(diǎn)符號的運用。
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